March 97~ Show me the way

Show me the way to the next whiskey bar, let me drink until I lose myself. Let me forget who I am. Let me no longer be me. Let me be able to say the words, let me say that things I can't seem to force myself to say. They get lost somewhere in my throat, and never find their way out. And I lose what I cherish most because of it, and then I sit in self-pity, kicking myself, never being able to forgive myself for my lack of courage. Take me away, I don't want to stay here. Trapped in a place where I can't seem to move forward, and where I know I can never go back. So what do I do? I have no escape. Stuck in a light of rejection and fear for all the world to see. Vulnerable, dejected..... my soul is exposed for people to point and laugh, and I have no where to hide. No way to cover my shattered, exposed soul. Tired, exhausted, not wanting to live, not wanting to die. Waiting for my luck to change, wishing for a time where I will no longer hate who I am, and hate the life I lead.