1996

We were all together practically every day
I was sure our friendship was here to stay
we partied, played pool and were often bored off our ass
I wished that summer would forever last
I was never alone, you guys were always there
You were all my best friends, and I knew you cared
There was nothing I wouldn't do for any of you
I would have given my life had you told me to
At the apartment, JJ's or stoner's park
We hung out, made memories and toked in the dark
We lived for the moment, or just day to day
As long as we were together, we knew everything was ok
Our days of scraping up beer money and wahooing gas
are days that are lost somewhere in the past
I was the dreamer that thought we'd all be friends forever
I couldn't imagine all of us not being together
But slowly we all drifted apart
and with each of you is a piece of my heart
some of you moved, the rest just moved on
I turned my head and all of you were gone
I tried to grab the shattered remains and hold on
but no matter how much I wished, it was all gone
but I'll never forget the times we had
even though it does make me a little sad
even though some of us are now enemies and the rest have changed so much we don't even know each other
I want you to know I love each and every one of you and will forever
I miss you all much more than I have words to say
and maybe we'll all meet up again some day
but until then all we have are our memories
and I ask you never to forget all of it please
so this is my gift to show how much I care
a tribute to the friendship that we all once shared

To: Tobias, Kevin, Melissa, Susan, Jeremy, Jason, Niddy and Cameron.

ablaze

The stars in my eyes light up inside
whenever his eyes reach out and touch mine
my dark world is always set ablaze so bright
whenever his beauty captures my sight
whenever the thought of him enters my soul
a smile consumes my spirit and won't let go
he's a dark prince with a heart of pure velvet
and he's owned my dreams since the day we met
I never though I'd have a chance to be a light in his eye
I never thought I'd be a star in his dark sky
but when he's around I feel like a priceless gem
he lifts me so high, that I just don't exist when I'm not around him
and maybe it's an illusion, or maybe just a dream
but unless he's looking at me, I feel like I'm not being seen
I've never touched lips as soft and I've never had anyone be so sweet
and when he touches me, I've never felt so much heat
and as confusing as it is, and as strange as it has all become
I don't want to leave until his song is done

jack and sally

I look at you and wonder if this is real?
Is this giddiness something I should let myself feel?
Where is this going, where will you take me?
Will I allow myself to open up to you and be free?
To be free of these chains that weigh me down
for you make me feel as if I wear a crown
and that only scares me because I like it so much
don't let me fall so deep into your touch
I want to eat you up and drink in your whole being
yet I still try to hide myself from you seeing
from you seeing how scared and tired I am
from you seeing the shaking of my hands
you seem so mesmerized by me
and I just can't see what you see
I'm afraid you'll discover how desolate I really am
I'm afraid you are going to let go of my hand

never again

I'm not going to do it again this time
I will not be weak and fall down that line
you will not get to me again
I will never again let you in
you will never have the power over me that you once did
you will never see the pain that I have now hid
over and over I have tried
and over and over I have cried
never again will you do this to me
never again will I be blinded and not see
you do not deserve all that I have to give
I do not deserve all of this pain that you have made me live
I'm walking away. I'm not looking back
and you can be sure that this is a fact
use me, abuse me, don't have a care
but when you turn around, I will no longer be there

alone

Even when I'm surrounded I feel alone
I hide it though and try to have a happy tone
I try to pretend everything is just fine
but I scream inside for answers I just can't find
I want to trust again, I want to shed my fears
but every time I'm alone, I can't stop the tears
what's wrong with me, why am I like this?
what happened to the carefree child that I so miss?
It's like I'm stuck in a whirlwind, I'm down and I'm up
I'm just so tired of feeling stuck
someone please come rescue me from this pain
someone please help me stay sane
don't let the demons complete their wrath
don't let me follow them down the same old path
I'm scared, I'm lonely, I'm starting to fall
someone please remove the needles from this voodoo doll

exposed

the blackness creeps around in silence and speed
it steals the happiness that my soul needs
for moments of bliss I suffer eternity
dreaming of a time from this prison I will be set free
I want my life back, I want to again be me
how did I lose myself so quickly?
once my confidence spilled out of everything I did
and even if it wasn't real, at least my insecurities it hid
now I feel naked and exposed
like I can't hide myself, I can't hide my woes
the emptiness aches savagely in my chest
until maybe I think this is all just a test
and maybe I am doomed to fail
to live inside my own personal hell

my whole world

The most perfect thing came out of me and into my life
and it scares the hell out of me that my responsibilities are now so high
I stare at your tiny features and can't choke back the tears
I am a mother now, for the rest of my years
I never want harm to come to you
but I can't protect you from this world, so what do I do?
You are now my whole world, my life rests in your eyes
your eyes which are so blue, like the bluest summer skies
so perfect, so tiny, how can you be real?
The love I have for you is all that I can feel
it overpowers all of my senses, until you are in complete control
filling my once empty and meaningless soul
I pray I never let you down, and I pray I never cause you tears
but I'm afraid these are probably inevitable fears
so as I stroke your cheeck and watch you breathe
you are the only thing I care to see.

fake

I stare at my reflection wondering what it is that I can't see?
surely this empty, soulless person can't really be me?
where did all of my passion go to?
when exactly did my heart turn so blue?
why can't I talk to anyone the way that I used to>
why have I shut myself off to you?
I cry so much now, it's too familiar of a feeling
I don't know how to start the healing
I'm cold and sad, sad that my eyes are so empty
how can anyone look at me and not see?
how have I hidden it all so well?
How has my fake smile managed to blind everyone to my hell?
how do I cry out for help when I can't let anyone in?
when I can't force myself to play, how do I expect to win?
How do I tear down the wall which I cling so desperately to?
how do I give in and trust another, perhaps just as blue?
I don't want to do this anymore
I'm tired of depression keeping the winning score

roadkill

Bright blue eyes which shine as to see right through me
fair pale skin, as porcelain with immense beauty
flaming orange hair, alive with a kiss from the sun
and all together in this package; a prince for my eyes
in my eyes he is wonderful, in my eyes he is everything
and I know it is nothing but a dream
one kissed with the fairies lips that would never quite compare in reality
but a dream none the less, as beautiful as it seems
my dream, m y dream of finding someone so fair
with a soul like my own, just searching for a place
not so much as to belong really, but to exist peacefully
with happiness and tears
alive with the hopes of dreams and fears
he understands, yet I feel he hides it mostly
afraid to release himself totally
but who am I to judge?
for I hold back so much just to fit in I suppose
we change ourselves to what is acceptable in terms of not our own
is it the price we pay to not be alone?
questions too much for me to ponder
for my sweet prince, he is just yonder
so close that I can touch him, feel his warm breath upon my neck
yet so far, do I really even have a clue who he is?
in my heart I believe, dream or no fantastical dream
I believe he knows, he understands
I believe in a perfect world we could hold hands
yet this world is far from perfect, so where does that leave us two?
Shall I always want him from afar?
or does he need me too?

poetic soul

to a poetic soul with such a loving heart within
to a hopeless romantic with a little boy grin
to my special friend matchewe
I'm here to say that I love you
I cherish your friendship more and more as each day passes by
because you are such an immensely groovy guy
whether we're just sitting back watching t.v or out on the run
no matter what we do, I always have fun
you have the gift to always make me smile wide
to say you are my friend fills me with pride
we are truly opposites and tend to disagree
but regardless of all of that, you still mean the world to me
in the short time we've known eachother we've made lots of memories
and we'll have lots of time to make more of these
thanks to you I now have a love for the Pumpkins
thanks to you I now have so many groovy new friends
so I tahnk you for all of this and much more
and I'm sure I'll have many more things in the future to thank you for
because you are so caring, generous and wonderful too
how can anyone not love you?


*So I call BS on this entire thing, lol, it was hard for me to type it up, as it was to Bourbon's dad and yeah I don't feel that way any longer, but for the sake of history it stays in my collection of youthful peoms.....the other love poems to crushes gone by, they just make me smile, but I guess for someone who crushed my heart, there's just a bit a bitterness left over..... :)

saying goodbye

I guess all things must come to an end
even the friendship of a best friend
I don't want you to feel so bad
that this loss makes me so sad
time takes over and makes us grow up and apart
but even if I have to let you go, you'll always be in my heart
I'll still always be here when you need me
to my heart, you will always hold the key
I'll never let the love I have for you go
It'll alwayus be there I want you to know
it isn't your fault we've grown apart
there was always a chance of ending from the start
so don't feel you have to take the blamew
and I'll have to learn to do the same
I love you so much, more than you could know
how it hurts inside to let you go
but I don't want to tie you down to me
with a feeling of obligation of a friendship that used to be
I know it doesn't mean that you don't care, it just means we have separate lives and new friends
and the world we shared together has come to an end
but I'll always be just a phone call away
and my door is always open if you need a place to stay
Kevin, I really do love you so
I never thought I'd have to let you go
just give me a hug and hold me tight
a goodbye kiss, everything will be alright
here it is my time to say goodbye
turn your head and walk away so you don't see me cry
call me sometime just to say hello
keep in touch, I don't want to lose track of you, you know
go now, these tears are flowing from my eyes
I love you.....goodbye


*wow, these are all really old so they just make me nostalgic, sometimes in bittersweet ways when I am typing them up, but this one just makes me sad, since it was to my friend Kevin who killed himself last year, even though this was written in like 1997 or 98 when we just hadn't been close in a while, but we eventually found our way back into eachothers lives for a few more years.... sigh

friendship

over the years we've both grown up and changed
but the fact that our friendship is alive is still the same
we've been through so much and we're no where near the end
for in my heart and in my life you are my best friend
the memories of our times together linger in my head
of two fourteen year old girls giggling and whispering secrets in bed
of games of spin the bottle and hanging out at crest
all teh adventures we've had together has kept me impressed
crushes and obsessions have come and gone
yet our love lives on and on
I found my dreams of a fairy tale friendship in you
and even through arguments and disagreements we know our friendship will stay true
the terrible twosome, Devil's Daughter and Star
walking everywhere because we didn't have a car
Weekends spent skating, partying at the circle, or Jamiaca Joe.s playing pool
flirting with danger, trying to act so cool
we were drug free in 93 and wanted more in 94
we had so much fun yet at the time always complained we were bored
I wouldn't trade our times together for any amount of fortune or fame
because in my eyse your smile is priceless and compared to your friendship, nothing is the same
memories of our pink anniversary bunny we traded every month faithfully
of the time in the back of Nathan's truck where I saved your life so heroically
all these things bring back such a smile to my face
there's no one on earth who could take your place
now here we are, both adults, the big 18
and I still need you for a shoulder to lean
and you know I'm always here for the very same thing
you know there's no other person I'd rather go to karaoke and sing
so as I bring this poem to a close
I have a serious question I think the answer you might know
then again I may be wrong
so tell me, have you seen my milk cow, it's been gone for so long?! :)

why?

The way you left doesn't make sense to me
what is the truth that I just can't see?
I obsess, ponder and scrutinize every last detail
but when it comes to finding answers, that where I fail
you left so much behind
the future you could have had blows my mind
your family, your friends, and of course myself and Joe
there's a truth there that we want to know
what really took place that night?
how could you plummet to your death from that height?
was was going through your head, what did you say?
when exactly did you figure out you weren't going to live to see another day?
why did God let you die to horribly?
why does such a nice guy have to have his life ended to tragically?
how could she do that to you?
what did she expect you to do?
she had to have known you were going to stop her or at least try
how could she let you go up there and die?
she should havce left you out of it and done it on her own
she should have died alone
but then that wouldn't be altogether true
because she didn't just also kill you
what about that innocent child she had inside?
the poor baby, before given the chance to live, died
I don;t understand, I want to know why?
WHy she pulled you down and why God let you die?

do you?

do you hear me when I talk to you?
do you know what I say is true?
are you with me as the tears fall?
or do you ever even think of me at all?
do you forgive me for how it ended?
do you know it's not what I intended?
do you know the regret I live with everyday?
do you know the words I wish I could say?
do you hear my cries at night?
do you know I wish I could make it right?
do you know my love is true?
do you?

my wish

I never thought about life without your smile
and leaving without a goodbye isn't your style
I thought you would always be with me
I really didn't think you would leave
I took you for granted while you were here
and now all that I wish for is that you were near
I never imagined life without you
nor did I imagine that it would make me feel so blue
but here I am and now you've gone away
and all I want is for you to come back one day
I never meant to hurt you so
I'd change it in heartbeat I want you to know
if given another chance I'd never hurt you again
for you I would attempt to wipe away all the devil's sins
there's nothing I wouldn't try to do
if I thought it would allow me to save you
the tears I've shed don't seem quite enough
and although I try, I'm afraid I'm just not that tough
I wish I could tell you just how much I care
the tragic end to your life wasn't fair
how do you justify a tragedy so great?
no matter what anyone says you didn't have a life that you would hate
you were so nice, maybe that was your fate
you tried to save her, and then it was too late
why must nice guys finish last?
why can't I go back to you in my past?
but always know how much I really love you
and never doubt that all these words are true
I was blind when you were here
now that you are gone, my only wish is to have you near.

strange

the mouse tips his top hat, he cries human blood
he grabs his silver flute, his white golves are covered in mud
pink lemonade pours out of the horn
the flute gives birth to the unborn
in the baby's mouth is a willow
that's why the weeping will always continue
the fairy flies by with milk in her hair
she screams like a banshee as the jezebel stares
the star looks on in awe as the dew has sex with the rose
a green flying pig has landed on the gnomes nose
the elves munch on purple berries
while the unirocn has a ballerina on his back that he carries
the leprechaun dreams of a world without rainbows
the angels dutifully shine their halos
the day turns green as the moon winks at the calico cat
the white mouse tips his black velvet top hat

stacked up dreams

lonely and confused I sit here and wait
for nothing more than for time to pass
maybe solitary boredom is my fate
maybe fate can kiss my ass
I wanna live the life of my dreams
no one can hold me down
sometimes its hopeless is seems
all a smile is, is an upside down frown
I jump to conclusions with my burnt out mind
my frustrations seem to keep me down
if only I took the time to sort out my twisted thoughts
my talent I might find
until then I'll take another toke
happiness fills my lungs as I blow out the smoke
chasing my doubts away
saving them for another burnt out day
so I sit here, lonely and confused still
reaching the point of boredom where you can't turn back
my mind is trying to figure out if this is all real
on my bookcase of failure, my dreams I stack

sweetheart

a sweetheart is a guy with class
a guiy who isn't always trying to make a pass
he'll open the door for you and say things you want to hear
but he'll be different because he will be sincere
he'll be your friend with an ear to listen
and making you happy is his only mission
he'll say and do little things to make you grin
and your grin means so much to him
sweethears come with different covers
he could be your best friend or he could be your lover
but he'll always be there to brighten your day
and to make you happy in every way
theres not many guys like this around
but there are a few waiting to be found
there is a sweetheart this poem is written to
that sweetheart is none other than you

gone

I draw blood to make sure I'm real
the pain only means that I can feel
my mind leaps off the edge of insanity
it floats though, because there is no gravity
sorrow's fingers clench around my heart
the taste of reality is much too bitter and tart
I claw out my eyes so I can no longer see
the world is much too violent for me
I sit alone in a silent room full of fears
the chaos of peacefulness is all I can hear
my blood rushes out faster through the hole that I made
my empty life is begining to fade

lsd

take a colorful trip behind reality
the ticket is merely LSD
for a ride full of endless laughter and intricate designs
a trip to discover the true meaning behind the minds eyes
where all the lines of your life run together
and the stripes of lights go on forever
where permi-grin becomes your best friend
and the tracers never seem to end
where your mind will believe just about anything
and in your ears laughter will dance and sing

bright lights

bright lights
like two eyes
cat eyes
horror story cat eyes
powerful eyes
the eye of the beholder
like they can see your soul
absorb your soul
capture your spirit
consume your essence
until there is nothing
darkness everlasting
into darkness come light
bright lights

April 19th

On April 19th the blast ripped through the air
and Oklahoma City had its most traumatic scare
everyone pulled together to help on another
doing everything they could for themselves and each other
regular citizens became heros in the blink of an eye
but everyone wondered why so many had to die
all of his love came from an act of pure hate
as everyone around the world prayed for our state
horror-stricken families stayed glued to thier TV's
praying their loved ones were alive and waiting to see
for their children's lost lives everyone shed tears
as the reality struck of every mother's fear
the injustice of this tragedy was so immensely great
from innoncent lives lost in an act of hate
everyone just wanted to know why
they wanted to know the reason their family and friends had to die

blue eyes

stare into forever with your dreaming eyes
get lost in the eyes that seem to hypnotize
feel the pitter pat of your heart in your chest
feeling as if somehow by the moon you have been blessed
see his arms and picture yourself in them
a place where reality and fantasy seem to blend
float away to the sound of his music dancing in your head
the passion in your heart has turned your soul red
his words touch you in ways that you wish he physically would
you know when you let him know, he understood
but yet you two are always so far apart
no matter how close you are, you are separate in your heart
so dream with me my prince with the eyes of blue
and every time I get lose in your stare, I will always want you.

depression

the infinite sadness takes over my soul
the depression grabs me and tries to take control
I struggle and fight, I don't want to go down this time
I fight for the happiness that is rightfully mine
I just want to escape, find a way out
shatter the silence with a long, loud shout
just to break away from my dreary world here
to release my built-up pain and fears
to just let go of the sadness and to once again care
the fate of destiny is not fair

escape

the colors surround us like a beautiful dream
we dance like fairies on a moonbeam
away from our problems
away from our fears
away from the pain of beautiful tears
to escape is all that we dream of
to run into the embracing arms of love
away from the gloomy mass of reality
into the mystical world of fantasy
where the morbid lies of a murderer can never be true
where the vast sky above will always be blue
where the sweet fragrance of flowers fill the air
and the justice of life is always fair
where the hopes of a child can never be broken
where no harsh words meant to hurt can be spoken
so escape with me from this gloom
or reality will be our doom

lonely and confused

my days are filled with gloomy skies
I see my life through blinded eyes
my dreams and hopes fade away
as I settle for what I am today
no one hears my cries at night
my fake smiles are what is in their sight
the real me is trapped behind a mask
buried under broken dreams so deep that finding me would be a task
I'm confused, lonely and scared too
I have no clue what it is I need to do
should I become a prisoner of the lies I've become now
or should I find a way to break out somehow
one day I may know what to do
until then I will hide, lonely and confused

blessed with the devil's kiss

Why does my life always turn out like this?
it's like my life was blessed with the devil's kiss
nothing ever seems to go right for me
happiness is all that I want to see
depression was once my best friend
onbe day my happiness just came to an end
I dream of a time when all my wishes will come true
I dream of a time when I'll know what to do
I scream at the injustice fate has dealt to me
I long for the dreams of my true destiny
I ask the stars to come to my rescue
I beg the wind to whisper to me what I need to do
I ask for an angel, so loving and wise
I hope the devil's kiss withers and dies
someone rescue me soon from this fate
give me a life that I will not hate.

I wanna know

I wanna know what nobody knows
I wanna taste what nobodys tasted
I wanna go where nobodys gone before
can you imagine what nobodys imagined?
can you feel what nobody has felt?
are you somebody nobody has seen before?

Hey, I wanna know, if it's really so
does it all exist without us?
will the world still turn without us?
If I die today will the world go on?
oh,oh,oh,oh I wanna know

Do they know what we don't know?
Can they go where we can't?
DO they ever see things we won't ever see?
can you touch the clouds above?
can you see the fairies?
have you ever seen a pig fly?

Are you scared of death like I am?
do you cry at night like I do?
do you think that everyone is better than you?
well I do.

Do you think the world is hopeless?

prison

silcence escapes from his lonely doom
fleeing madly, but he willbe caught soon
dreading the lonliness, boredom and dear
trying to get anywhere but here
escape, escape, run away
the sadness will take over if you stay
to your happiness try to flee
from this prison you will be free
you will get caught soon, but you may escape again
never lose hope in that my friend

crystal heart

my crystal heart encased in glass
never to be hurt again
since I'm afraid to trust, I let all of my feelings pass
my crystal heart has been shattered too many times to count
even though it says handle with care
so upon my lips is an eternal pout
whoever said life was fair?
dreaming dreams only a lonely heart can
reaching the point where shattered dreams is all that I am
closing myself up, from all my emotions I ran
in my glass case my crystal heart will stay
scared to love, therefore loneliness will fill my days

the secret

what are you thinking when you are looking into my eyes?
you are like a lover in disguise
I know nothing abou you
here you are, all fresh and new
but that doesn't stop me from wanting
you are the prey and I am out hunting
I could sit and stare at you all day
sending secret signals your way
wondering what you are thinking of
wondering if there is any chance of love
what do you think of me?
when you are looking into my eyes, is it my secrets you are trying to see?
well I have a secret, but I'll give you a clue
I have a new crush and I do believe it is you....

double standards

I scream about injustice as I cheated you out of love
I bitch about violence as I turn to you to shove
I say life isnt' fair as people are losing theirs
I bitch about pollution as the exhaust fumes from my car fill the air
double standards and blind ignorance are all around
and I am even guilty of these crimes I have found
why are people the way that they are?
why in order to love, we must leave scars?
is life really supposed to be a great big battle field?
or are we here to find wounds to heal?
does anyone have the answers to these things that we wonder?
or are they there for us to see among the rain and the thunder?
does God look down on us and laugh at our materialistic lives?
or have we gotten so bad that now he just cries?
do angels whisper the meaning of life into our dense ears?
and we're too worried about money and social standings to hear?
everyday people lose their shallow lives in vain
never finding answers and always in pain
why does everyone settle for living this way?
I swear, at least for me, I'm going to change it all one day

your dark day

sorrow brings about a single tear
but there are many more very near
despair enters the crevices of the mind
leaving the dreams of happiness far behind
fear and inseurities grow stronger in this state
bringing about a lonely and doomed fate
afraid to open up to even those who are close
feeling that they will laugh just like most
not trusting a soul, however dear
knowing the creeping darkness is very near
hoping and wishing for a survival as your hopes and dreams slip away
but yet here it is, your dark day

fresh and alive

the frog wishes for a princess to arrive
waiting for a time when he will feel alive
the butterfly visits flower after flower
wishing that love was in her power
the bluebird sings a beautiful tune
hoping he will be happy soon
he searches for something that will brighten his day
as his music brightens my world in many ways
the fairies dance where no mortal can see
for have you even seen a dancing fairy?
the unicorn folics in places unknown
in beautiful lush forests he calls his home
the raindow leads you to the leprechauns lair
but you'd be lucky to find him there
the knight in shining armor plays with his pet dragon
anything is possible if only you imagine
the star giggles madly at the world far below
laughing at something that only she will know
the moon smiles with love in her eyes
as she watches the world, all fresh and alive.

gothic boy

gothic boy with the angelic face
I see your lips and long to taste
the beauty of your whole being
your lush existence has me dreaming
of your black lines eyes staring at me
of you wanting what you see
your raven hair falls into your eyes
and my soul releases a little sigh
as I watch you dance so poetically
held captive by your presence it where I will be
from your black clad body I can't pull my gaze away
upon every detail of you my eyes play
when you are near I lose myself deep within you somewhere
in a crowded room, you are the only one there
gothic boy do you know that you have me on your hook?
I've been trapped there since my very first look
fantasizing of what possibly could be
hoping somehow you'd be able to see
the truth can be found in my eyes somewhere
here I am, if you dare

the melted soul

pain in my heart
dripping with fear
pulling my soul apart
down runs a single tear
rejection, rejection, rejection all around
making me scream inside
making me fall down
blood seeps from the open wound
never to heal again as I lay on my own tomb
screaming, screaming, screaming in agony
running from this disillusion of myself
ripping the blackness from my soul painfully
the darkness of evil penetrates the air
the stench is so strong, death comes without a care
bleeding, bleeding, bleeding away
biting my lip in fear
as I try to stay here
losing the battle against the sadness
I seep down lower as the thoughts in my mind turn to madness
screaming and crying and losing control
the pain in my heart has just melted my soul

crazed thoughts

bouncing on a string of thread
singing on a sea of tears
loving you until the end
being with you throughout the years
take a politicians mind
cover it with lovers wine
happiness is the greatest sorrow
be with me when my sanity you borrow
open up the grapes of wrath
help me find the wrong path
taste the lips of a dead mermaid
chase away the demons until they fade
let the colors take you away
never think about what you say
I see myself in my eyes
through a mirror of tainted lies
creeping up as the days grow colder
I'll cry by myself on my own shoulder

fleeting wish

Make a fleeting wish on a falling star
dream of a heartache from afar
keep the shattered remains of a broken lost love hidden within
hold on to the memories and try to pretend it didn't end
search for a new dream to fill your desolate heart
but from behind your protective wall isn't a good place to start
such a trusting soul, yet so scared to actually let go
so continue to live in a dreary dream of pain
and act a though compared to real love it is the same
hide your bittersweet loneliness through a halfhearted grin
and wait to see if it ever begins again

fantasy

a silver streak of lightning and grace
throws a beautiful pale reflection upon your face
as the glittery night air proves to be strong and sweet
I dream of a time when you and I will actually meet
not in sorrow, heartache and pain
but in ways that may never again be the same
a single lonely cloud floats across the goddess moon
as it dreams of a time when companionship will come soon
the stars shine their beautiful dreams onto the night earth
as you wonder exactly what this is all worth
so slip into a fantasy locked inside your sleeping mind
and maybe a refreshing taste of true love is what you will find

My fairy tale

Dance with me on the edge of the moon
rescue me from my balcony soon
look at a star and be reminded of me
look into a fairies eyes and it will be true love that you see
follow the brick road but don't get lost
to buy a dream there is no cost
hold on to your hopes, don't lose them now
to make them come true you need but ask how
so slay the dragon and ride home to me on your steed
hold me close, you are what I need
be my prince, my loving romeo
I'll never let my fairy tale go

garden of hope

Pick a dream out of the garden of hope
climb up to heaven on your homemade rope
reach for an angels wings and feel the velvet on your fingertips
kiss a star and taste the joy on your lips
don't give up or you'll start to fall
and you'll realize that your life isn't real at all
allow faith and patience to envelope your heart
they will keep your soul from falling apart
dare to dream what you so much desire
dare to bring that dream to life like a blazing fire
all of your wishes will come true if you believe
stand your ground and wait and see
the moon goddess and her husband the sun will help you on your way
they are always there; night and day
sp ask for their wisdom and you will see
things will go your way, so mote it be.

vacant eyes

desolate sadness and despair arrives
at the door of the girl with vacant eyes
demons rip her life away
wickedly laughing, they play their evil games
they steal her love from her heart
and rip her already torn soul apart
but she just sits there and cries
she will not fight it, the girl with vacant eyes
they fill her mind with depressing thoughts
and tell her whatever she once was, now she's not
leaving he with a razor in her hand, they go on their way
their job is done, this will be her last day
a tiny hope has hidden in her heart deep within
but it is too late, she has brought about the end
her weakness caused her life to fade
the demons luckily had it made
now as she lays there and continues to die
she has a reason for her vacant eyes

divine things

The raindrops bring a brighter tomorrow
where hope replaces bitter sorrow
it washes away the pain and the fear
and gives you joy to hold so near
it nourishes your dreams and makes them grow
don't lose sight and don't let go
see a twinkling star and blow it a wish
send the moon goddess a sweet gentle kiss
give her thanks for her divine presence in your soul
let your positive energy freely flow
see her perfection in all that surrounds you
from the flowers and trees to the sky of blue
embrace with love the changes that will happen soon
and when your wishes come true send a wink to the moon
your guardian angel watches you with loving grace
she supports you as you put your dreams in place
your life will go right if only you believe
in yourself and these divine things

Meeting of chance

From across the room she notices him
as he strains to see her though the lights are dim
his black hair hung over his bright blue eyes
eyes that scream out the things he tries to hide
he is exposed, his soul is being shown
to the world where the cold air of exile is blown
he looks at her and he is intrigued
she is something he has never seen
he undresses her slowly in his mind
she stares at him as though to the rest of the world she is blind
not a word passes between the two star crossed lovers
they hide behind thier socially accepted covers
each dreaming of the other with a poetic heart
their souls are together though they are physically apart
he walks by her, never letting his eyes leave hers until he has passed
she breathes him in deeply, hoping his scent will forever last
he scolds himself for not stopping to say hello
she cherished the moment and knows that now she must go
she takes one last look at her gothic prince as she walks out the door
as he wanders slowly back to the dance floor
he scans the room for his fair maiden of sorrow
realizing she is gone, he dreams of tomorrow

Ironic

hold me close, stay away
I know what I don't have a clue to say
I find myself lost in your eyes
wondering if they are filled with sincere lies
getting too near to be so far
wondering just who you really are
being honest with you while I lie to myself
ironic how much heaven can feel like hell
dreaming of nightmares, desolate yet full
using my depression as a hopeful tool
happy yet sad, hopeful yet hopeless
here I am, such an organized mess
peaceful chaos takes over my senses
the dirt purifies and the blood rinses
the silence makes my ears ring
I am so sweet that I am mean
talk to me but don't say a word
everything you didn't say, I heard
I fall down as I stand
go away, but hold my hand....

Ashes of a dream

Behold the intricate wonder of the butterflies wings
as they play with the flowers while the bluebird sings
with wonderous strength the friendship begins
and with it is the playfulness of a new found friend
colorful dew drops land on the dream
beauty is nothing and everything it seems
the tragedy of friendship is often revealed in time
along with the joy and love, it stands in line
the moon and the stars form a bond in the sky
a dream is even wonderful when it is forced to die
although they attempt to hold on to the love and friendship that is slipping away
the tragedy of time and fate will eventually have its way
but they frolic and play as though nothing is wrong
yet the bird and his best friend the bee start to sing different songs
and though they swear with a child's heart to be friends forever
father time lets the promise blow away with the winds of change like a feather
until all that is left are the ashes of a dream scattered on the wind
and the memories of the times you had with the person who was once your best friend

Star's Soul

A lonely star wandering through darkness and fear
holding all of her insecurities in her soul so near
hiding her thoughts, feelings and her soul
feeling guilty and ashamed to let her negative feelings take control
seeking approval, friendship and praise
always giving herself, yet to reveal all she is afraid
the dreams and hopes of a child fill her heart
she hates to think about her world falling apart
so she clutches tightly onto all of her dreams
scared that if she lets go it will all be as hopeless as it seems
basking in the glory that she only wishes was her own
scared to death to be left alone
wondering if she really is just a little insane
knowing her thoughts, compared to others, are just not the same
a star, shining brightly for the whole world to see
yet no on can truley get inside to know her completely.