Ironic

hold me close, stay away
I know what I don't have a clue to say
I find myself lost in your eyes
wondering if they are filled with sincere lies
getting too near to be so far
wondering just who you really are
being honest with you while I lie to myself
ironic how much heaven can feel like hell
dreaming of nightmares, desolate yet full
using my depression as a hopeful tool
happy yet sad, hopeful yet hopeless
here I am, such an organized mess
peaceful chaos takes over my senses
the dirt purifies and the blood rinses
the silence makes my ears ring
I am so sweet that I am mean
talk to me but don't say a word
everything you didn't say, I heard
I fall down as I stand
go away, but hold my hand....