fake

I stare at my reflection wondering what it is that I can't see?
surely this empty, soulless person can't really be me?
where did all of my passion go to?
when exactly did my heart turn so blue?
why can't I talk to anyone the way that I used to>
why have I shut myself off to you?
I cry so much now, it's too familiar of a feeling
I don't know how to start the healing
I'm cold and sad, sad that my eyes are so empty
how can anyone look at me and not see?
how have I hidden it all so well?
How has my fake smile managed to blind everyone to my hell?
how do I cry out for help when I can't let anyone in?
when I can't force myself to play, how do I expect to win?
How do I tear down the wall which I cling so desperately to?
how do I give in and trust another, perhaps just as blue?
I don't want to do this anymore
I'm tired of depression keeping the winning score